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From Me to You

More personal than usual. This is a letter from my future self to my present self, requesting insight on the rough journey… just in case one day I forget. Similar to K’Jon’s “On the Ocean,” a song that got me through many rough moments. I would pick up my baby and dance with her everytime it came on the radio, believing that one day my ship would come in, too. 

From me to you.

I will never fully remember your pain, the frustration, the lost sleep, the angry moments waiting for our ship to come in.

I will likely not believe the stories you’ll try to tell me of sleeping in cars, heating baby bottles in gas station microwaves, or of drinking 2% because WIC didn’t cover soy.

I will likely doubt the 8 hours sitting on the side of a Georgia road just shy of exit 333, the site of the Kroger that was home to you more nights than one.

I will likely forget the days of no diapers where onesies were cut along with receiving blankets into triangles to attempt to catch the moisture.

I will likely not remember the cold showers the first week because the homeowner forgot to pay the gas bill in that house with mansion sized rooms.

I will likely not remember the Cobb County library being our only entertainment next to the visiting the park down the street from the Dominoes Pizza we could never afford.

I will likely forget my “first born” sitting on my lap, curled up against my pregnant belly with my little one kicking her from inside, or the startled look of confusion on her face each time.

I likely will forget the meals of lentils, grits, and ramen that I made while 6 months pregnant that fed us, me sacrificing and giving away the greater portion, and saving some to feed my “first born” too.

I will likely forget the roaches that made life there damn near unbearable. That beautiful, spacious, Marietta apartment with the pool and exercise room that was damn near uninhabitable for me.

I will likely forget the day we knew we’d have somewhere to stay so we left only to have to return and find the door locked and our calls unanswered, too broke to go anywhere we slept in the driveway hoping someone would come home. They didn’t.

I will likely forget staying up late with my little one sleeping on my lap, working on my first book while everyone slept.

I will likely forget all these stories and that is why I am grateful to you for writing to me tonight. The rough moments will one day be faded memories that seem like myths and fables. This is our life. These things did happen. We will arrive. I promise you that. I promise you that.

 

Maybe you can relate, maybe you gave up on your dream. Please support me as I stand in courage reclaiming mine. http://fnd.us/c/0dg5f/sh/6waf0

Maybe you can relate, maybe you gave up on your dream. Please support me as I stand in courage reclaiming mine. http://fnd.us/c/0dg5f/sh/6waf0

 
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Posted by on November 17, 2013 in Inspirational

 

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Always Expect More

Last night, as we were heading to bed, my little one said to me, “I’ve got fifteen dollars.” I smiled, knowing that the pennies, nickles, and dimes in her coffee can probably did not equal fifteen dollars, then replied, “No. You’re gonna get three million dollars.”

So let’s fast forward to today—a few minutes ago, actually. I was sitting at my computer typing a blog that once again sounded great in my mind (but was just awful onscreen), while listening to the encouraging stories of teenaged entrepreneurs on the tv show Biz Kids. My daughter was sitting on the floor behind me going through one of my purses. She was fully entertained because I had smaller handbags inside the big purse she was investigating. After a while, she discovered some change in one of the pockets and began saying, “Fifteen dollars, fifty-six….” I thought it was adorable. I smiled at her and continued typing away at the computer. Then, she began to bring me various items she discovered and place them on the table before me. “Here, Momma”—she placed an old Mary Kay make-up sample in front of me—”fifteen dollars.” Then she ran back to find something else. She came again, shoved an old receipt at me, “fifteen dollars,” then ran away. Finally, she came back and handed me an envelope, “fifteen dollars,” she said, and ran off, again. I flipped it over, wondering if this time she really had discovered some money. I quickly opened it to see what was inside. To my surprise, it contained three million dollars!

Million Dollar Bill

Let me explain. A few years ago, I was watching The Secret—a video about utilizing the Law of Attraction to create a better life—and doing various things to apply its principles. In an attempt to keep reminding myself that resources could come to me unexpectedly, I copied and printed several fake million dollar bills, put them in envelopes, and mailed them to myself. The envelope my daughter found was one of these, and it ironically contained three million dollars, the exact amount I told her last night that she would receive!

Now, I don’t know how deeply you feel me on this—and, no, the money is not real—but, to me the message is clear that there is some kind of power in our words, especially when we believe. When I told her last night that she would receive that money, I meant it. I expect great things to come from her in her future so I believe that one day millions will be minor money to her. I didn’t, however, expect it to “happen” so soon! 🙂 Of course, when this happened I had to tell somebody who I knew would “feel me “on how powerful (and weird) this all was. So I instantly called my dear friend, and fellow blogger, Danielle Navonne. As I was telling her this amazing story, I noticed that there was something written on the inside of the envelope, and I will leave you with this powerful thought,

"Always expect more."

"Always expect more."

 

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But Who Does God Say I Am?

Yet another day spending countless hours before the computer, only to realize that a new day has already begun and I still haven’t completed my to-do-list. Every night for the past three weeks, I have “burned the candle at both ends” (and in the middle) attempting to whittle down my huge laundry list of have to’s, forgot to’s, and I-didn’t-get to’s. So when I climbed into bed around 3:30 the other “night,” carrying all that anxiety, I got straight on my knees and with no “Our Father…,” I cut to the chase. “God I am so overwhelmed. I feel like I am constantly behind, like I’m failing You, like I’m failing at my purpose….” I paused in frustration, and just sighed and asked, “Is that how You see me?” It was such a vulnerable moment, but as that question flowed out of my mouth, I immediately heard my words parallel that Scripture I remember from growing up in church. It’s the one where Jesus asked his disciples, “who do men say that I am,” and the follow-up question “who do you say that I am?” And I immediately knew the answer. God does not see me the way I see myself. God believes in me. He placed all these gifts in me for a reason. He is confident that I will actualize my potential.

And that’s the message I want to share with you. Be confident in yourself, because God is confident in you. He proved it by placing talents, skills, passions, and interests in you. If He did not believe in you, He would not have invested in you. No one puts money on the horse that’s not expected to win. They invest in the one they believe will make it to the finish line.

God looked beyond our journey and invested in our arrival. He knows every step we will take: some forward, some backwards, and some completely off the path. But with all that knowledge, He still put His money on us. Be encouraged.

Confidence Mugs by MDillon Designs

"God is confident in you so be confident in yourself." –M. Dillon

 

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